I just asked my daughter what I write about.
She said that I should talk about "Bullies"
So....
Reaching back into my-lfe I have come across as a "Weak Person" because I have been in many fights and lost more then I would like to admit, but coming from a family that had a father who was not only violent but also mentally damaging, he showed me that the only thing you get from pushing people around are a pair of handcuffs and a bad reputation. Speaking from my view point, I don't really see myself as a "Weak Person", in high school I was known by many, because I was loud and obnoxious but didn't have that many close friends. I think I pushed people away because I didn't want to become like my father that was such an erratic person that I thought that that would be me someday.
Watching my parents marriage fall apart from a young age showed me that everything you do has a consequence. My beautiful sister ran away from our home at age 13 because of the physical abuse that my father was inflicting on her. I can recall the times I would come home from school and find a poorly drawn "Steal Your Face" logo drawing in a hurry and on the back of a paper towel and written in crayons a note telling me that she is ok, where she is staying and that she loves me. She is now almost 34, two kids from two different fathers and one on the way from another. It has been hard to see her struggle with everything and try to help but to no avail.
Watching my mother go though this was something that I will never forget. Watching my father and her yell and scream at each other as I would go and sit on my bed in my room, wishing that I would not turn into yet another police matter. I would just think about what other families were like and I know that there is not such thing as a "Prefect Family" but I also knew that this was not "Normal" but I think that time when I was sitting on my bed I resolved that I would not turn out to be anything like my father. After my parents were separated, (the divorce would take another three years) we moved into a older woman's house in the neighborhood. Laying in bed, hearing her cry, thinking that this was her fault that everything has fallen apart and now she was a single parent and a mother of a runaway. I will never understand how she kept her self together together.
My father never struck me, but his words were more then enough to cripple me. Cutting me down at every possible corner, I was an outcast with the friends that I had such a hard time gaining in the first place. Being in Boy Scouts and having "Father and Son Retreats" was always a horrible situation, explaining to the other scouts why my father wasn't there was never easy and plain heartbreaking to me. Having a father that you knew wants nothing to do with you is something that no one should have to deal with. Living in a house with a father that suffers from schizophrenia and also has multiple personally disorder I never truly knew what I was going to be dealing with. I did not do well at school and I didn't do any sports since he told me that "Since you have a heart condition you will never be anything in sports so why waste your time" I just decided that he was right.
He wasent...
As of now, I have a smoking hot wife who loves me, ever though I come from a crazy man and two children that are such an amazing gift to me.
If you are reading this and are in a situation that in away way shape or form resembles what I have come from, first, get some help. There are many organizations that are out there to help families get thought this type of ordeal and second remember that you are someone, a living breathing human being that deserves the best in life.
Thank you for taking a stroll with me though a glimpse of how bulling can effect everyone in this life.
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